When I was still an elementary student, I have never thought that I would be a teacher. What I wanted was to be a LEADER. One who governs, leads and envisions for people. In my own small way it is an ambition that I have dreamt long before.
Upon entering high school that dream never subsides yet ignited even more when I was elected and became the student council president of more than two thousand students in our campus. A young mind which was very ideal, have done things which were that time as my teachers told me “I was giving the administration a headache. My ideas for the students’ welfare were indeed at par my age and a typical teenager who should be thinking of what an average teen girl should think of.”
I remember the days when I got myself involved in an issue about a “teacher-student affair “. I did all what I can to expose that affair, wherein during that time my mind says it is an “immoral act” of a teacher. Being the student council president and an associate editor-in-chief in our school newspaper gave me enough fangs to do and exposed issues concerning welfare of the students, which I believed my constituents during that time.
As what my teacher thought of me, I will become a lawyer or even a politician. The way I talked, the way I handled things I was a little politician then. As my high school life ended, I was recognized by receiving a leadership award and was given an award from Malacañang from the late executive secretary Ruben D. Torres. I was happy that my mother received a letter from the office of the executive secretary stating that I was the one chosen among all the students in my school.
Upon entering college and passing the entrance college exam in one of top university in the country-the Polytechnic University of the Philippines, it was a new environment. I was supposed to enroll in a political science course, but for unexpected reasons, I didn’t have the chance to enroll in that course. One of reason perhaps is the university was too big for me. It was the first time I went to a huge campus and I was really amazed how big it was for me, getting lost and not knowing where to go first, I went and enrolled at a different college. I took a course, which I never thought I would go into, teaching. My registration card was stamped and marked as a BBTE enrolled student: Bachelor in Business Teacher Education.
During my first year, my mind was set to study hard and shift to another course on the following school year. Though the university was so big and our own college was with hundreds of students, it was not a difficult thing for me to surface. As a first year college student, I was elected and become a college councilor. Election was different in PUP, it was just like a national election, real ballot boxes, an actual filing from the legal office, and it was like a mock election of a national presidency campaign. It was another opportunity for me when the university sent me to be one of the seven delegates to represent the institution in an international conference which was held at the University of Asia and the Pacific. It was the first time, when I first realized that what I want before was indeed just a dream for me. Meeting ‘rich kids’ gave me an embarrassing moment, but that was just for a short while and getting back my composure at least gave me strength to talk even at least once in the plenary session. Even though it happened only once, I still tried. Well, not all was able to attempt to butt-in and cut the monopoly of this rich kids talking at the plenary session. Again, I took that as a wonderful experience and a pride as well.
After that first rough year in college, my attempt to shift course never took place. Again, I realized that it will be unwise to throw a year I already spent and worked for. Besides, my father was a construction worker and my mother was with her unauthorized betting game ‘juetteng’ business. How can I then manage to tell them that I really don’t like the course and I want to go to another college course? I couldn’t say it to them, what they know was they just have to wait three more years and they will have their first child who graduated in college.
Though I was still in doubt whether to continue to study and pursue a teaching profession, I was left no choice; my parents are really trying what they can to help me finish my course. By this time things tightened up more, soon my sister joined me in the university as she passed the college entrance test. Now, two of us were in college and my parents’ resources were really limited. It was another realization for me that it will really be impossible to pursue that political science course. I said to myself, finish education and once I have my job, I’ll have second degree and finance my own studies.
The second year was even harder than the previous, more than ten of my classmates dropped out – like the reason of many it was financial. I have learned to survive using my leadership skills, group activities and projects require a leader and that is where I am good at. They took me as their leader and that help me manage to settle my school projects. Some of my classmates managed to buy all the reference books we used and so it was an opportunity for me. If I still remember, I can only manage to buy at least two books out of eight books we used every semester. As I entered the varsity team in Arnis, I was able to get a scholarship. At least the money that supposedly for my tuition was allotted to some of the things I need in school, indeed it helped me for a while.
My junior years in college was another stage of my life, I got exhausted from my academic life and tried a new one – getting into activism. It was all of disappointments, after having been found that I will be eliminated from the cum laude list, I got cynical. My academic mind then turned into a socio-political mind. I started attending lectures and conferences involving students’ rights and welfare and all issues which may directly and indirectly affect the students. From issues of tuition hikes to issues of oil price hikes, I even got involved in issues of our farmers and rural workers. I remember when I first joined a hunger strike at the Department of Agrarian Reform in sympathy to our farmers clamor. I have to accept, it was exciting and I may say an adventure for me, running around with cops while carrying flags and banners, shouting at Mendiola – it was an ecstasy turned idealism.
My mother’s heart was griping when she found out of my whereabouts. Staying outside the house for more than a month not telling where I am, I showed my face off and then leave at once. One thing I promised her, I will finish my study and help my other siblings.
Many things happened during my last year in college, it even reached to the point of a ‘do or die game’ for me but after all I managed to survive. At least I graduated as expected but with an extra baggage, I was five months pregnant during my graduation march!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
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